No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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