Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
