So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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