I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
