I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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