Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
