Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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