I don't usually arrange sex via text message
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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