I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
