Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
