GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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