thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
