I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
