i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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