party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
