South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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