how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Holy sore nipples Batman
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
