omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
