Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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