You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
