Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
