Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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