No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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