Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wish I could teleport
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
