There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
