If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
