he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
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my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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