Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she pinky promised me she was 18
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
