They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
