it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
