Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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