I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
