shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
