somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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