Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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