I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Alive.
So much puke
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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