i used baking grease as lip gloss
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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