It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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