sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
