Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
