Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize