Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party