And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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