grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
