omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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