She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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