I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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