So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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