awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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