scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
