I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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