I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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