I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize