He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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