Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm passing your future prison.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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