im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
