Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
