Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
