we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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