You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Less talking, more tequila
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
