I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
