then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
