He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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