hell yes lets make some ravioli
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
