Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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