Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
