I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
