My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize