Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
