low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
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just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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